Exeter Student's Common App Activities Leaked

The Exonian

2 hr/week (0h on the off weeks)

The oldest continuously running (because we continued to print mediocre journalism instead of fighting for our country) preparatory newspaper. I help advance the movement of newspapers becoming obsolete.

Feed the Starving Children of New Hampshire Non-Profit

3 hr/week

We just pack our dining hall food into plastic containers and drop it off at the local public high school. My philanthropic heart extends to the public schoolers who haven’t tried blue cheese on pizza.

Harvard Summer Camp

21 hr/week

Pleaseeee accept me. I already wasted my parents' paycheck (albeit a miniscule portion) on your summer camp. See how invested I am? See how much I’ve demonstrated interest? My closet is already, like, 90% crimson (including underwear I’d be glad to show you). I also already have a sickening superiority complex purely based on the slight prestige of my academic affiliations!

Campus Dating App Start-Up

50 hr/week

Coding, capitalism, and couples! I use my advanced coding skills to help students on campus find true love (something they really need assistance with). Without my app, how else will students figure out how to approach one another?

Rubik's Cube Kink Positivity

10 hr/week

I work to destigmatize the mesmerizing, orgasmic, and arousing act of solving the cube. I help foster inclusivity by creating a safe haven for others who share my obsession. I provide the lube, you demolish your cube.