The (all important) Masthead.

What The Exonian Does on Our Weeks Off (Going biweekly isn’t soft…)

• Read the 8th page
• Repeatedly refresh the niche.com page hoping we’ll be at the top
• Plan how we can make exonian.net even uglier
• Read old legal documents to keep our dry, humorless writing skills sharp
• Hang out with all of our friends, who totally exist! (they just go to a different school and don’t believe in Instagram.)
• Finish our homework, and for our break, do our English homework for fun!
• Contemplate all the life decisions that led us to be in such an underwhelming student organization. Maybe try to get into debate again…
• Make study playlists that consist only of underground Austrian goat music
• Spend hours practicing our witty A/E comebacks in the mirror
• Blame race as the “only” reason we got rejected from Andover
• Sketch models for prisons
• Watch “How to Kiss” YouTube videos
• Adhere to our mission statement: “The first role of the paper is to chronicle Exeter’s history”—a biweekly history…